Month: May 2016

you lucky ducks are in for another recipe by rackers!

this time (for harry potter luvvahs like maself) BUTTERBEER!

ingredients:
2 tbsp brown sugar (i threw in what was left cause we were running low with very stale, old brown sugar…)
2 tbsp butter (or margarine whateva)
1 mug milk (just put in a lil less than what u think u want to drink)
1 tsp vanilla essence (or ‘imitation vanilla’ as i had in the cupboard…honestly why does my family not have normal things)
dash of cinnamon sugar (mine was two years outta date but sugar is sugar so whateva)

method:
1. put the butter and the brown sugar in a pot on the stove. make sure the stove is on cause otherwise it will not mix correctly haha lol and only put the stove on a low setting otherwise u will burn the bottom of the pot.

also side note, probably pretend that ur a wizard mixing a potion in a cauldron when u do this

2. when that shit is mixed and smell’s all delicious and sickly sweet, add the milk, vanilla and cinnamon and stir it alllll together

3. bring the mixture to a boil so you can have a nice hot steaming mug of butterbeer, courtesy of rackers

4. chuck in hazza potter in ya dvd player or get out a copy of the hazza books and pretend ur a wizard for the day

enjoy ur #butterbeerbyrackers on this lovely (maybe reoccurring) segment #recipesbyrackers

EDIT: 18/08/17

If you still need your coffee hit, chuck a shot of coffee in it!

it’s not secret that i’m all up in yo grill on social media. whether that actually annoys you shouldn’t even be in the question, there are unfollow/unfriend, and god forbid i annoy you that much, block buttons for a reason. we can all play on guesses as to why i’m addicted to it… instant gratification, validation, attention, the like. i don’t even bloody know. i just know that i like sharing my funny anecdotes, pretty pictures, and obviously ridiculously good looking face.

what still gets me is that people think that just because i post a lot on social media, they know what’s going on in my life.

“the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

i recently ran into some old school friends. did the usual ‘heyyyyyy oh my god how you goiiiing, what have you been up toooo?’ and one of them said to me, ‘i know how you’re going!’ i was like wot u mean bitch. and they said because they see me all over their newsfeed…!

i was like okeh? u see me post funny shit that happens during ma day, see me tagging ma friends and family in dumb funny shit, and probably like a million and one photos of dogs. and then we head on over to instagram and we see most likely a selfie where i look exactly the same as the last time i posted a selfie, i probs just thought up a witty caption to go with it and/or had a rlly good eyebrow/hair/eye day… or we see a pretty sunset or a fuckin photo of my dog.

okeh.

so u know bout how i’ve been going at home, how my family’s going, what i’ve been up to, who i’ve been seeing, and whether i’m genuinely happy in this moment of my life? all because of that? u are fuckin magical. don’t pretend you know ‘how i’m going’ just because of what i choose to show.

if u care i’m actually going pretty well because i’m finally cutting back on work hours and learning to spend time with myself again and hey it’s me even when i’m at my worst i’m still pretty bloody swell.

just a word to the wise. next time, just fucking ask me how i’m doing. i’ll more than likely give u the standard ‘oh yeah i’ve been goooood’, but it’s a lot more telling then pretending u know my life from this shit. remember bitches, highlight reel. behind-the-scenes. i work hard at keepin a positive head on my shoulders but don’t get under my skin unless i want u there.
sorry for swearing so much. love u bitches

my head hurts. my heart hurts. and my fucking eyes hurt.

wear ur glasses racquel goddamnit

i’m readin a book ‘Life after Life’ by Kate Atkinson (legitimately 10/10, would recommend. so fucking good). the gist of the book is on the blurb (this is what reeled me in). 

‘What if there were second chances? And third chances? In fact an infinite number of chances to live your life? Would you eventually be able to save the world from its own inevitable destiny? And would you even want to?’

my god, it’s all that’s been running in my head lately. would i be so lost, so confused about where i am in my life, if i had have just made that one different decision a couple of years ago? what if i had have changed colleges like i originally wanted to (but was coaxed out of by friends who are no longer even friends)? what if i had have just started working, straight out of school, like i planned to, like mum wanted me to? would i have travelled the world by now? would i have met the people i have met? probably, it is canberra after all. but would i be so lost…that is all i want answered.

i’ve never been sure what to believe in. chance, fate, destiny or just plain happenstance? do we all have one purpose in life? or are we all literally just here because our parents decided to have sex and formed the human life that is you, that is i, that is every lost lil human bean on the planet. are our lives mapped out for us and we are just doing what is made for us? or do we pave the very path we lead? i believe we encounter certain people in our lives, in certain times in our lives, purely to learn, to grow and to love and lose. but the rest of this bullshit – the day-by-day shit that we’re supposed to pretend we’re happy with every second of every day? where the fuck does that come in to play

am i supposed to make some life-changing decision now, and be forever happy with it? or do i make the decision and completely regret it for the rest of my life? do i allow myself to become comfortable in this life, because i know it, because it’s practical – do i never risk everything, to see if it works out? i don’t know. i just don’t fucking know.

there is literally not a one point to this post, just a rant, but one perhaps a few of you will relate to. one to say, heyyyy we’re all fucked here and absolutely none of us have any clue what we’re doing. i wake up with no feeling of purpose, and i suppose that is pretty normal for a gal who’s working a couple of jobs just to get by, studying a degree she decided long ago she doesn’t want to study anymore. 

my head hurts. my heart hurts. and seriously, my fucking eyes hurt.

i don’t have a clue
how to do this fucking thing
fuck you uni, fuck

dearest mumma,

mother’s day has rolled around once again, like we needed a day to tell you how much we love you. for you to know how much we love you.

today is our 989th day without you.

there are so many words i have tried to write. nothing… nothing works.

i miss you in everything i do. i think of you always.
even in the most inappropriate of times.

this happened once (but not for too long, thankfully), and had to laugh to myself. i could imagine what you would have said.

‘yeah kel he’s hot.’
‘i’d let him do me.’
‘try before you buy.’
‘can’t fuck a personality.’
a woman after my own heart, and probably the foremost reason i am so goddamn picky.

for so long i felt like i couldn’t live my life properly. i didn’t want to live my life properly. how could i truly be happy if you were no longer around? i realised how stupid this was.
do not ever feel guilty about being happy. that was all i ever asked for, all i will ever want.

i lost a couple of good years to grief. one day i woke up and you popped into my head, what the fuck are you so scared of? you’re not the dead one ya dickhead. live your life for no one else but yourself.

are you really not here anymore? is this not just a dream? some stupid, fucked up nightmare that i’ll get to wake up from, in august 2013, and re-do life with you by my side?

my dearest mumma,

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

you da man roz

 

i’ve self-proclaimed myself a baking QUEEN! just kidding, i am a baking not-queen? not sure what word to use. i thought it would be fun to branch out and write a RECIPE blog post for u (i am also majorly procrastinating an assignment worth 65%) (haha i’m so screwed haha lol). if u love scones, n ur fucked if u don’t, here’s an easy peeeezy lemon squeeeezy recipe for u.

ingredients
– 3 cups self raising flour
– 80g butter
– 1.25 cup milk

now i do recommend using self raising flour that has been recently bought. i kid u not, i don’t think the self raising flour we have in our pantry has been bought by anyone other than mum…….haha lol so that’s a solid 2 and a half years ago.

i also recommend actually using butter because i used margarine and it was messy as fuck and probably not what was supposed to be used

i also recommend measuring the milk and not just pouring in however the fuck much you want

u will see reasons for recommendations later

step 1.
preheat oven to 200 degrees celsius. (where do u get the lil circly thing on a keyboard?) LIGHTLY dust a flat baking tray with flour. (i may have put flour all over the floor because i got too excited) sift self-raising flour into a bowl.

step 2.
using your fingertips, rub butter into flour until mixture resembles breadcrumbs. (this one i didn’t fuck up)

step 3.
make a well in the centre. add 1 cup of milk (like i said – actually measure it). mix with a flat-bladed knife until mixture forms a soft dough, adding more milk if required. turn onto a lightly floured surface and knead gently until smooth (don’t knead dough too much or scones will be tough. don’t not knead dough enough because dough will be fucked).

step 4.
see this is where ur supposed to do some weird shit with making it actually look all scone-like, but by this point i was annoyed so i just rolled them into lil balls and put them on the tray. put them in for probably like 15-20 mins i dunno i just pulled them out when i was hungry

voila! bread-balls. they actually tasted alright when i smothered them with granny’s homemade jam. i also had a lot of fun dipping the scone into the jam because it made a sound very similar to being penetrated. haha (too far?) enjoy ur scones n thank me for ur delicious #sconesbyrackers