Categories
life tips

rackers’ life tips: part 12

1. There’s nothing more attractive than an open mind (except probably exceptionally good looks).

2. “Always be wary of people trying to abuse your good nature and tempt you down the wrong path. The devil doesn’t look like a monster; he was once too an angel, outcast by sin. He will tell you nice things and hide behind a pretty smile.”- Anthony Defaz

3. There is Adele for every situation.

4. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

5. It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realise that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.

6. You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. – Tina Fey

7. You have all got to stop calling each other sluts and whores! It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores!

8. Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.

9. When you’re poor, drunk and funemployed, the best way to make it home from Newtown to Leichhardt is most definitely by foot. It will only take you close to two hours, and you’ll more than likely give yourself a cold, arriving home at 5am when you could have been home at a) 4am [bus] or, b) 3.15am [uber].
But hey it’s worth saving that $4 it would have cost on Opal, right?

10.


Insta: @gorkiegork

Categories
Rackers

ideals

We’ve all been guilty of it, even victims of it… we’ve all been there.

Falling in love with the idea of someone. Not the actual someone.

You meet this brand new person, like they popped out of nowhere, almost always at the ‘right’ time in your life. What even constitutes the ‘right’ time? How can someone whose been single for 20+ years’ ‘right time’ compare to someone whose been single for two seconds’ ‘right time’? Can anyone answer this question for me??? How many ‘right times’ does someone get in their life? Anyway…

They charm you, they’re fun, they make you feel things you’d forgotten you’d feel, or didn’t think you’d feel for someone else, or had never felt before.

You find yourself constantly checking your phone to see if you have a notification for a message, a snapchat, a ‘DM’ (Is that a thing? Am I getting old??). If they’ve checked your hilariously funny snapchat story that really isn’t actually that funny to anyone but you; annoying yourself in wondering if they’ll like your new instagram post, your facebook status (or your most recent blog post, lel).

It’s new, it’s exciting, and you can’t wait to see where it goes – and then it doesn’t.

It just doesn’t go.

You’re different people, it wasn’t actually the right time, you’re better off as friends, you discover that little things about them actually irk the shit out of you. Reasons.

You’re just simply… not made for each other.

But then your mind does this weird little trick, where you forget that you didn’t really like them all that much. Your mind says ‘let’s forget about all the things that were telling me that they were not for me!’ ‘Noooo remember all those good times!’ ‘What do you meeeean they hurt your feelings?’

I’ve been a victim of it. And I’ve been guilty of it.

There are those that you feel like you should like, because they like you. The ones you feel guilty for not feeling enough for, so you force your little mind to like them just enough to keep it going. You like the idea of them. You like how polite they are, how much they tolerate your siblings, how much your mum adores them.

And then when you’re the victim. You wish they’d want you back. You literally want the idea of them. And you pine for too fucking long about it. You wear rose-coloured glasses, so all the red flags just look like flags.

***STORY TIME***
I could write a book about unsuitable suitors I have chased after.

I had a tinder bae.
We started talking, and hit it off straight away. He was from another country. He was here for a while. The banter was unreal and he was really fucking good looking.

Anticipated messages from him, back and forth, all throughout the day. I’d forgotten what it was like to get excited about reading someone’s name on your phone. 

We went on a date. (Can you call it a date if it’s drinks at 9pm? Is that a glorified booty call?) Banter was still good, but not as good as had been. I excused this, because naturally no one’s banter is as good as it is through messages (except mine), due to the whole not-having-20-mins-to-think-of-response.
He was actually an asshole. With some serious mummy issues. And he hated women.

And I still wanted a second date.

Because he was good looking and made me laugh, you know, when he wasn’t being a prick.

It dwindled out. And, because I’m being perfectly honest here, he did the dwindling. And I wondered what was wrong with me… Like some serious what the fucks going on at this point, right? Who EVEN wants to spend more time with someone who was OPENLY hating on women?! WHERE’S YOUR GRL PWR RACKERS?!

Cue like a week later when I met another really cute dude @ Coogee Pav and completely moved on from my very brief – but obviously (not) really real feelings – love affair with tinder bae.

*Coogee Pav bae completely different story for a completely different time* **Contact rackersindacity@gmail.com if you want some serious laughs**

Complete loss of feminism/self-love/self-respect aside, I was overtaken by the idea of a good looking guy, who was from another country [aka no commitment] [aka knows no one I know], with B+ bantz, taking a liking to me. Some serious rose-coloured glasses up in here. Sipping on rosé. Because nothing else could explain my utter loss of brain cells than saying I was drunk the whole time.

We’ve all been guilty of it.
We’ve all been victims of it.

A tell-tale sign you actually like the person, and not the idea of them: I don’t know because I’m obviously a really bad judge of character/don’t know if feelings are real/if I’m just lonely. So don’t ask me. Just try to figure it out yourself before you’re knee deep in the wrong dude.

Take it from me, a veteran singleton: it’s better to be single and playin tha field, than taken and forcin feels just to have someone.

Categories
Rackers

time

We all dream of it, don’t we? Whether you’re sitting at a desk, in a classroom, out laying bricks, installing refrigerators, selling clothes, knocking on doors, driving people around… Whatever we’re getting paid for; we all dream of getting up, leaving it all behind, and never looking back.

We dream of days with no commitments, sleeping in, lazing around. Walking to the cafes nearby, having the time to read a newspaper, magazine, the current novel you’re trying to finish faster than your usual 3-months (because you never have the time).

We want time.

But you know what the real problem is? You know I’m gonna say it, I know I’m gonna say it, you hate to hear it, I hate to hear it, we aaalllllll hate to hear it: you’re just not using your time to your advantage.

Heck, I know people who work themselves to the bone. And I find they’re the ones who complain the least about having time to themselves the most. Cause they get it. But then there’s people like me. I was working a job that, majority of the time, was 6 days a week, 10 hours a day (give or take), on-the-fucking-go. And for a while I was absolutely adoring the shit out of it. Then I got stressed. And then the stress got stressed. So naturally I blamed the job for not being able to do the things I wanted to do.

But did I not still have all the other time in the world to do what I wanted?

I didn’t have to get up only 15 minutes before my train, chuck on my makeup, not have to do hair because I shaved it off lol, wear whatever I could find on my bed, and drink 7/11 coffee because a) it’s $1, and b) it’s $1.

But I did.

And I still complained.

Take today as an example: Funemployment, a short story, by me (obviously)

I awoke at an acceptable time. I photographed the sunrise. I admired the world, and I thought of stories of all the people flying in the airplanes above me. Worlds, galaxies, different from my own.

I slept.

I awoke at a /sort-of/ acceptable time. I made a cup of coffee. I ate chocolate for breakfast. (Atrocious diet for another time). Read the rest of The Younger Man, by Zoe Foster Blake. Changed clothes, washed face, brushed teeth, and waited. For the fridge man. Delivering our fridge.
Tried to make small-talk with fridge-delivery-dude, failed. Decided to stand awkwardly around. He left. Fridge is smol.
I put off-milk in the fridge, just to have something in there.
I started to read a new novel. It cost me $2.99. It was shockingly written, almost as much as my blog posts. I couldn’t stop reading it, like you guys reading my blog posts.
I wrote some words in my own novel. I ate peanut butter toast and drank tea.

I slept.

I awoke at an unacceptable time.
I drank more coffee. Ate more toast. Read more words.

And then I ate coco pops.

Mind you, this was all made with the off-milk.
What can I say? It only cost 24cents and I’m funemployed.

I drank more tea.
Posted on instragram.
Scrolled through tumblr.
Tagged people in memes on Facebook.

I showered.
Drank more tea.
Felt sick, probably because off-milk.

Not once did I take advantage of my time (aside from maybe when I wrote things in my novel). Not once did I explore Sydney, where I’m lucky enough to call home – go do groceries, instead deciding to stick to steady diet of toast and tea – nor did I even think to walk outside.

But it’s time to myself, and that’s what I’m happiest with.
Time to yourself doesn’t have to mean funemployment, unemployment, or leaving your workplace at all. It just means realising, acknowledging, that you are feeling lost/unhappy/stressed-on-top-of-stressed and taking some time – before work, after work, during (probably not during) work. Take a smol holiday.

A smoliday.

And probably don’t drink off-milk.

Categories
Rackers

single status blues

You’re alone.
And a little bit lonely.

It gets to a point where your perpetually single status irks you a little bit. Not for the fact that you need anyone, because you are a strong, independent woman (or man) who don’t need no man (or woman). But hey, let’s be honest – sometimes you just want someone there. 

I don’t need that block of chocolate with twenty cups of tea, but god do I want it, and to hell if I’m not going to have it all in one night (one sitting. Give me half an hour).

You know a large portion of the fact is due to your chronic laziness and next to no effort played on your part (especially when you actually have potentials – minimalism may be a craze at the moment, but try not to use it when it comes to minimal effort put into interactions with human beans).

You search for similarities in every person you’ve dated/flinged/swiped right to, (to see if it’s something you’re doing wrong…which, it probably is) and there’s always the obvious – you find [almost] all of them physically attractive. Some mentally attractive. Few emotionally attractive.

You realise you are ridiculously picky. (You don’t “realise”, you’ve actually always known it, but pretend for good measure that you’re a really good person who doesn’t judge books by their cover. Or people by their looks).

Friends are starting to couple up, and you’re not sure if you’re scared of your perpetually single status, or just losing your tequila-downing-sidekicks to a dude.

Snapchat’s top 3 friends is no longer needed, as you can tell who’s banging who by who is tagging whom in Facebook memes. And you’re tagging your sister. (Only because your dog doesn’t have Facebook).

You’ve stalked potential baes, stalked their exes, stalked their exes boyfriends sister, and subsequently questioned your whole existence afterwards. You’ve stalked ex-baes, stalked their exes, stalked their exes sisters boyfriend, and subsequently questioned your whole existence afterwards. 

You’ve stalked the same person, whether it be your ex-bae, potential-bae, potential-baes-really-good-looking-sister (who makes your question your sexuality), or ex-baes-best-friends-best-friend. You stalk them again, and again, even when they haven’t posted a new photo in twenty weeks.

Overthinking is the killer of all happiness.
Social media is overthinking’s best friend.

A little extra life advice from ya gal rackers – keep relationships as far from social media as possible. This is not to say that you can’t share a photo with a bae, or tag each other in memes, or heck, put each other in your instagram bios (didn’t know this was still a thing until recently. The more you know)… but actually be sure that they really are your bae.

And don’t settle for less than you deserve.

As some famous person probably once said, ‘you never really know yourself until you’ve learnt to be alone, and happy being so.’

Or something like that.

Buy a dog. If you can’t afford one/aren’t allowed one, buy a pillow. And download tinder.

Categories
life tips

rackers’ life tips: part 11

1. so there’s this magical thing about the internet and it’s called not having to read the shit that’s put in front of you. if you don’t enjoy reading what i write/put on instagram…don’t fucking look at it.

2. on that note, hiding ‘anonymously’ behind the internet to tell me your ‘opinion’ does not make you in any way important or of value. (although not anonymous cause m8 have super-ninja skills) (if anyone needs mysteries solved, holla @ me) (detective rackers at ur service)

3. “Know that you can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.” – Misty Copeland

4. back up your computer!!!! i may have possibly lost all photos taken and all words written in the last 6 years. (tears) (anyone a mac wiz up in hurrrr?)

5. travel. as much, and as far as you can.

6. a woman should not have to be modest to be respected.

7. probably the coolest thing you could ever do is try not to be an asshole.

8. yo fam, she can’t catch you cheating…if you don’t cheat (whooooooaaaat) (mic drop)

9. don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. that’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us signed up to.

10. 

Categories
Rackers

untitled #2

“I had a time when I thought…” she paused, mulling it over in her head. Like her thoughts were a red wine, testing and tasting before going ahead with a full glass.
“I had a time when I thought, I was going to be what everyone else wanted me to be.”
She scrunched up her face as soon as she realised what she had said.
“That was cliche as fuck, wasn’t it?”

“You know when you think that you have to be a certain way, act a certain way… talk, walk, dress, the way people around you need you to be?”
She asked it like a question, but I knew better. It wasn’t a question and she wasn’t done.

“But that’s the thing,” she sighed.
“They need you to be that way for them, so they can continue being the way they are, and treating you the way they do, so then they can blame you for it. And not everyone gets that, you know? Not everyone understands that.”
She put her face in her hands, rubbing all over – as if she were so tired of the world, as if she could be so tired already.

“Because people get this idea in their head. They get this idea of who you should be, and they get so confused when you don’t follow that path. That they paved. In their head.

“They’ll say things like, ‘when did you become this person?’.
They’ll say, ‘Don’t do this,’ and they’ll always give you a reason.
Always give you a reason.”
She says things twice, as if to make a point. As if I don’t hang off every word she says.

“They’ll put it with a ‘because’.
‘You shouldn’t do this, because you never used to do this.’
‘You shouldn’t do this, because so and so wouldn’t be happy with this.’
Or, god forbid,
‘You shouldn’t do this, because I wouldn’t look at you the same if you did.’

“Since when should someone be the same person at 23, that they were at 18? 20? Even 22 and a half? When did I become your puppet? Oh, fuck, that’s right! I didn’t!”
She lets out a giggle. She does that a lot. It’s like her body doesn’t yet know how to deal with all of this angst, so it bubbles up and comes out as a giggle.

“I got better the day I realised that I was not here to please anyone else but myself.”
She sat her head in her hand, and cocked it to the side, a small, satisfied smile playing on her lips.

“I got better the day I realised that I could cover myself in tattoos, shave all of my hair off, be as promiscuous as I want, or not at all promiscuous, laugh as fucking loud as I want and tell you all to get fucked, when I don’t want your presence anymore.

“When I realised I could swear as much as I bloody well want!” She exclaimed, like an over-excited child with the charm of a well-established woman.

“I got better the day I realised that my smile would always be this sweet, my eyes always this colour, my nose always this little, no matter who told me it was their favourite thing about me.

“I got better the day I realised that their favourite thing about me was always all mine, and I had it before, and I still have it after; after they decided that it wasn’t enough.

“Because there’s only one constant in my life, and that’s me. And one day I realised that sometimes people can’t control losing feelings for someone they used to feel the world for.

“That not only lovers will let you down, but friends, family, and even strangers will.

“But I can control the way I feel about myself.” She nodded, as if reassuring herself.

“There’s only one constant in my life.”

Categories
Rackers

an ode to the moon

There has to be an explanation for the periwinkle moon. 

The way it lights the night, and makes you feel so safe. It looks so different when you are at home, out of the city, surrounded – by not only stars, but souls, love, secrets. 

You stop. Sit. Listen. 

You can hear the shiver of a young girl who is beginning to feel trust. The nervous laugh of a boy who’s scared to feel love. 

Secrets. Secret, after secret, being shared. Words people are too scared to say in the daylight – like the moon can protect them. 

Trust grows, drinks flow – you can hear the laughter of groups enjoying each other’s company, after a long day, after a long week. You can hear the thump, and the blood pumping through those letting their guard down, dancing endlessly to the music that frees their soul.

You feel like you can take a moment. Feel the real emotions you are scared to touch in the light of day, while the sun shines on your face.

Some of those alone, feel more lonely. 

Lovers. Become more encumbered by their love – like there’s nothing else to feel. Maybe there is nothing else to feel. Shed of clothes and shields – sharing nervous, shivering skin – aching to be wrapped in each other.

The young feel more daring – as if the moon is saying, ‘Shh. I won’t tell anyone.’

The old let their memories rush over them – a mug of hot tea, wrapped in their shaking hands, closed eyes, breathing in the crisp night air. Remembering when they dared to live. 

For people never share their deepest secrets, feel their most raw emotions, their bodies and their skin, as they do with the charm of the moon.

Stare at the sky, and millions stare at it with you. 

You stop. Sit. Listen. 

There has to be an explanation for the periwinkle moon. 

And I think it’s you. 

Artist: @nocturnalcoonz (instagram)

Categories
life tips

rackers’ life tips: part 10

1. stop whatever you’re doing and look at the sunset. (even when you’re getting ur hair bleached)

2. don’t go to sleep with make up on! it is so bad for your skin! use miscellar water! take care of your skin!

3. be kind. your kindness could literally change someone’s life.

4. do not make homes out of people. this will make you homesick and sad, missing arms that are not roofs.

5. pineapple. DOES NOT GO ON PIZZA.

6. read all the books in the land. it is so good for your soul.

7. friendships/relationships are two way streets. you can’t get mad at someone for not making the effort, if you are not making the effort. 

8. people can’t use you…if you’re useless…hahaha lol

9. your oldies have nothing but love for you. give your time to them, that’s all they’ve ever done for you. (happy 79th bday pop) (luv u)

10. i hope you meet the right people in 2017. but if you happen to meet the people who want to use you, i hope you know when to walk away.

Categories
Rackers

untitled #1

You don’t ever get over it.
You don’t ever get past it.
You just get used to it.

You get used to the feeling of something missing in your soul. Waking up, and knowing there is someone who should be there, but isn’t. Making a cup of tea, and no longer needing to make two. Making it exactly as she used to. Because that is how she taught you to drink your tea.

You have someone else to call when you need someone to talk to. Even though it never feels right. Even though, four years on, you still feel like it’s the wrong person to call. It is the wrong person to call.

You sit at home, on a Saturday night, and watch a movie with a tea in hand, a book in the other, because she taught you to always have a book handy. Always have a book handy.

‘She’d like that,’ you think, as you pick up a lovely long coat.
‘I should buy that,’ you think, because there’s always that second that you forget they aren’t around anymore.

Always that second that you forget they aren’t around anymore.

You’re in the shopping centre, you forgot it’s almost Mothers Day. It’s almost Mothers Day. Why does that day keep coming around, so fast? Another one. Another one without her.

Milestone, after milestone, after milestone.

And they aren’t there.

But they are. You know, wherever you go.

Somehow.

They are there.

You don’t get over it.
You don’t get past it.
You just get used to it.

wherever you are.jpg

Categories
life tips

rackers’ life tips: part 9

1. sometimes all you need to do is cry.
a study showed that the reason humans cry is because you are feeling that one, single emotion so strong, that your body has no other way to release it other than a tear. it just says ‘here’s a little blub of feelings’ and blup! out pops a tear.
whether it’s over a sad poem, movie or quote – a shitty customer, rude passerby or asshole driver. or even, god forbid, a poor rainbow lorikeet who flies into your window. (i sobbed, like a child, and buried him. rip u poor lil thing). just let yourself cry.

2. tea and a good episode of friends.

3. ignore people who think they know more about you than you do (!!!!!!)

4. take selfies when ur feelin urself gurl EMBRACE YO DAMN SELF

5. stop searching for your other half. you are not a half.

6. by FAR the most unhealthy habit you can have is comparing yourself to others!!!! stop it!!!! you are you and that is the SPECIAL THING literally no one else is YOU. no one else has your MEMORIES or your FEELINGS and until you understand this i WILL keep yelling RANDOM WORDS at you!!!

7. there’s not much in the world a mum hug can’t fix, and some of us aren’t so lucky to have that anymore. cherish it.

8. ‘when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.’ – bob marlzzz. practice love, not only preach it. it all starts with a small gesture.

9. 

10. the best is yet to come, homedawgs. stick around to see it.