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Rackers

rackers’ life tips: part 28

  1. You went out with friends for lunch/brunch/dinner/what-have-you. You ordered the most expensive thing because money isn’t an issue for you. Don’t suggest splitting the bill evenly between you all because you may think everyone’s financially stable. Pay for what you ordered – they may have ordered the cheapest thing for a reason, not for a craving.
  2. What in the goddamn heck entails a ‘real job’? If someone is making money doing what they are doing… whether it’s at a desk… building something… making art… sex work… influencing on social media… then does this? not? constitute as a job?
  3. I used to be afraid of the ‘bitter bitch’ trope – I would allow assholes who treated me like shit to stay in my life, appeasing their egos, and for me to seem ‘forgiving’ and ‘cool’. Don’t do this. There is no shame in cutting someone out if they showed you how little you mean to them.
  4. There is no expiration date on heartbreak. Don’t be so hard on yourself, man.
  5. Put the toilet seat down. It’s about hygiene, kids.
  6. Ten All Access!!! Free first month! Sabrina the Teenage Witch! Beverly Hills 90210! 7th Heaven! So much goodness!
  7. Inspiration is not an object to look for, but rather the decision to grasp onto the feelings and moments that move you.
  8. Stop! Apologizing! For feeling! Your feelings!!!
  9. There is power and strength in being human and vulnerable; stop hiding behind the issues. If you aren’t vulnerable, there is a lot less pain… but a lot less love.
  10. Being the passive person in a relationship/thing/datingship/whatever the fuck you want to call it, is gross and outdated. It’s not cool to not care about the person you’re spending your time with.

 

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Rackers

as the laughter settled

Easter Weekend 2019.

A smaller gathering than we’re used to, less people, less moving around. Even less food. Being able to fit on one normal sized dining table, rather than having to squish together and add extra bits to accompany all the family members. Of having a routine of being able to pass the potatoes, the broccoli, rather than everyone scrambling over each other to get their share.

But it was the small moments of a family who have accustomed themselves to what they share and what they have lost, revelling in what we still have together. I stood in the kitchen to catch a breath after falling into a food coma and having to unbutton my jeans. As I stole a moment for myself, a burst of laughter rumbled from the room next door as another inside joke was pocketed for everyone for the future. A smile escaped from my lips as all I could feel was this incredible burst of positive energy surrounding people who had fought for a small amount of normalcy.

And it was after, in the quiet moments, as everyone fell back into their own thoughts and their own food comas, sharing a bottle of wine and passing around a basket of chocolate.
I noticed smiles on each and every face, but most importantly, contentment. A happiness in the moment and in their current lives. As — after years of suffering, as we have each had our issues to battle in the confines of our mind, as we have always come back to each other — it was a moment where everyone was at peace.

It was, as everyone had quietened down, that particular moment of silence after a large bout of laughter – as happiness settles down on everyone’s shoulders – that I felt something else on my shoulder.

It was a hand, and a warmth on the side of my face as if it was a kiss. A whisper in my ear that said, “This is all I ever wanted.”

Being able to see her children, all of them now adults; who over time, have only grown closer together. Who have fallen into step in their lives, side by side.

I wrote the words a while ago, A family so accustomed to goodbyes. As we said it yet again, to another person in our world; as we had to learn to restart, to shift what we considered our dynamics. To pause for a moment as it brought back feelings of old and learn to walk upside down on our already flipped world.

But as the feeling of the hand passed, the warmth stayed with me. As we may have become a family accustomed to goodbyes, but we have become so perfectly gifted at hello’s. At allowing new memories to join the old, as revelling in our old memories together as it only glues our bond stronger together.

And as the laughter settles, and the happiness falls on each person’s shoulder, she is there. Beside us all. Reminding us that the simplicity of us enjoying each other’s company, of continuing in life together, is all she ever wanted.

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Rackers

your faith does not exempt you

Once again, I get warped into the comment sections on Facebook and sit there, absolutely stunned, at the way some people think and the high-almighty bullshit they spout. As if they are living their life better because of what they decide other people should do. This week it was Israel Folau and his hate speech on social media, aimed toward homosexuals (following, and in the same theme of, last year’s comments claiming that homosexuals will go to hell).

I have read the argument that Folau should be let off because of other players getting away with drug use. Instead of questioning why he gets punished, why not question why they have not? If you let him off because they have been let off, are we not just moving backwards, allowing people to get away with things that are not acceptable in this day and age?

As Christians, it is important to look at yourselves; to realise you are not perfect. In each of the things he has posted about, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who does not partake in one of the practices, let alone almost all Christians.

Everyone lies. You will not meet someone who does not lie, even in the smallest ways. ✓
You are literally idolising God. ✓
Fornicators?? Is Folau going to make his children wait until marriage? ✓

I don’t give two shits if you believe in God or not. I have my own beliefs at play. The fact that anyone thinks they are above anyone else because of their personal beliefs is the issue here. Key word: personal. The issue is many Christians turn to fear mongering to push their agenda; to make others think living their life the way they want to is wrong and will send them to ‘hell’. As if living in a world of personal hell of trying to find acceptance within society isn’t enough. To have someone of such status spout hate speech, particularly for the young ones who look up to him and are potentially battling their own sexuality.

What hurts in this world is that people decide to take more action towards gay people rather than adulterers. Than sex against someone’s will. On this list, he does not mention murderers, rapists, abusive people (physically and emotionally). He does not mention people who are genuinely out there hurting others, rather he is aiming it at people who are making decisions for themselves. Who have free will. Who decide that perhaps ‘faith’ in an entity is not their purpose.

Gareth Thomas response
https://twitter.com/gareththomas14/status/1116010646464794624

 

But amongst this, there is this wonderful response by Gareth Thomas, a Welsh former Rugby Union star, who came out in 2009.

A stance often taken by people trying to argue with this is that: oh but if I can’t have freedom of speech, why are you saying what I said is wrong?
And to that I say this: Is my opinion hurting anyone? I’m not hurting you; I am all for your belief in God. I am not for you using your beliefs to shelter anyone else.

What seems to be forgotten is that Australia does not have the constitution of freedom of speech that the United States does. Speak freely however you see fit, but do not view yourself so above others that there will be no consequences. There is not such a thing as freedom of speech without ramifications. He can choose what to say all over his Twitter, but cannot expect to be exempt from the repercussions of his views.

As my brother so eloquently put it when I asked his opinion: Complete flog. Believe what you want, post religious stuff, that’s all well and good. But don’t start telling people they need to repent or they’ll go to hell. Like fuck off mate, I’ll do what I want. What about your priests that sexually assault kids? Where are they going?

It falls down to the simple fact: he had a contractual obligation and he saw himself above it. One player is not bigger than the game.

Is it not that one of the main teachings to not pass judgement upon others? To love thy neighbour as you love thyself? Allow love to fill your heart and the other people surrounding you, rather than spreading hate and telling people how to live their lives. Allow your faith to accept everyone as they are, to better yourself, rather than attempting to force it upon, and guilt people into, believing what you believe.

 

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Rackers

#GIRLBOSS

When I was 20 years old, I thought Sophia Amoruso’s book #GIRLBOSS… was pure genius. A manifesto for the modern business woman. This is when I had dreams and aspirations but no real plan. When I wanted to work for myself but I had no idea doing what. I find it safe to say that Nasty Gal is still much like my 20 year old self…

rackers girlboss gif
© rackers 2019

Re-reading her book at 24, and close to considering myself an embodiment of what she preaches – a ‘girlboss’, who only started her business to make money without having to deal with people. (I mean… that’s basically my by-line.) But I find a lot of her book is entirely hypocritical. You cannot expect yourself to find wonderful workers when you, yourself, were not one.

One of the biggest things that got me: She didn’t believe in a capitalist world. She was almost entirely against capitalism, often finding herself stealing and just basically hating giving it to the man. Until… Nasty Gal’s success. She became a major contributor to the capitalist regime and thrives off of a society who fall into that trap. Coming from a place of privilege: she chose to steal, she didn’t do it for her livelihood. She chose to be a bad employee, because she didn’t care enough. She considered herself some sort of ‘bad chick’, a trope I find quite tiresome.

One of her chapters is named Money looks better on your bank than your feet. I understand the sentiment for teaching those who want to be a CEO, a girlboss if you will, to save your money. It’s definitely sound advice. Hey, it’s one of the best lessons to teach… But you cannot be such a large factor in the forces of fast fashion and preach to people to save their money. She largely bases her success on the idea that women will want to spend their money on Nasty Gal’s creations.

She has found her way to the top after treating her own jobs like nothing, and then writing of expecting others to work their assess off for her. She feeds into mass production and in no way gives any information on their sourcing policy or practices. And many, upon many, past employees of hers have taken to the Internet to claim how shit Nasty Gal treated them. You are not a #GIRLBOSS if you walk upon others and attempt to stand above them all.

You are not a queen if your throne is made out of all those you stepped on to make yourself look superior.

Processed with VSCO with m5 preset
#GIRLBOSS, by Sophia Amoruso | Photograph © rackers 2019

I’m not trying to take anything away from Amoruso or her success, because with an attitude and a passion, she definitely created an empire. I am just suggesting that we don’t have to take advice, or even necessarily look up to, CEO’s and people with a lot of money. Let’s face it, there are multiple people we can think of off the top of our heads who do not embody the ideal type of leadership, yet are in the top tier leadership positions/have shit tonnes of money.

 
Even more recently, you may have heard or read about Roxy Jacenko, PR Queen with multiple businesses under her wing, claiming that many Australian workers – particularly millennials – are ‘lazy and entitled’ and ‘unwilling to work all hours of the day’.

I have worked for one of those types of bosses, who expected everyone to be there on his beck and call. The weeks you were not available as often as possible, your shifts would be cut back even more the week after. I ended up hating that job, and many of my coworkers were the same. I would have panic attacks the mornings before my shifts. I once had a minor car accident on my way to work and all they could say to me when I walked in was ‘we need you here on time’. It’s those bosses who may be finding financial happiness now, but implode on themselves later. Expecting your employees to work as hard as you can lead to resentment and a high turnover. Expecting people to want what you want in your business, for your business, is just plain unrealistic. These are people in the spotlight who do not believe in Mental Health Days. Who probably don’t believe in burnout. Who care more for their business than their workers’ wellbeing.

Jacenko
https://www.instagram.com/p/BvncQf7lr_1/

I absolutely adore Jacenko’s tenacity and hunger for more. There is absolutely no doubt that she has worked her ass off to get where she is, and she still has so much more to do. But that is all for her own businesses; that is what she has decided she wanted to spend her time, money and life growing into. Her thirst for an empire is what to others may be to work a 9-5 life and dedicate the rest of their time to their hobby, their family, themselves.

Not only the fact that Millennial Burnout is a genuine thing – there have been many studies towards it – it downplays what we have been working toward for years: caring about our mental health. A healthy relationship between employer and employee. A real work-life balance. Being married to your work is a personal choice, not one taken by everyone. This shouldn’t punish those who choose not to make work their life, if they are turning up and doing what they are required to do and not a minute more. People have different priorities; that is literally what makes the world go around.

I may not yet be at the top of my game, and I don’t have even one – let alone hundreds, if not thousands – of workers beneath me to be able to comment on having my own staff. But I want to believe with the most of me that you do not get to the top of it by not being kind to others. Not being understanding. Not bloody well firing people because of them living their lives.

You want to be a #Girlboss? Cool, go get it girl; get yourself there. Work your ass off. Yes, other people are going to help you get there, but it is ultimately down to you. No one is going to want this for you as much as you are. Don’t expect everyone else to get you where you want to be.