The more you think about it, the more you spiral; the more you tell yourself to stop thinking about it, the more you think about it.
The human condition is weird. We all have something wrong, whether it is classed as a mental issue or not; no one is perfect and no one is normal (so stop thinking you are, you big loser). We have a tendency to forget that everyone around us are also fighting battles; perhaps you are at a peak in life where everything is running smooth, or perhaps it only looks like that on the outside as you battle invisible things.
Some of you may simply be coasting through; nothing too bitter of substance is plaguing your mind, you are just here. Going through the motions until the next big thing happens.
In moments of absolution; where we feel as if nothing could be better or nothing could possibly get worse, we seemingly forget the literal billions of other souls going through their own. That because you just had the Really Bad Thing happen to you, your life is infinitely worse than that of your friends, or of the person sitting next to you on the train. Conveniently forgetting that, yes, perhaps in this moment, your life could not get harder; but in doing so, you provide your ego a feeling of Otherness. A feeling that you are different from every single person on earth. That you are alone.
It feels like we’re all talking about it but no one’s listening. We’re all masking our pain, our thoughts and ourselves to placate everyone else. It gets to certain times of the year and we ask a little more because it’s talked about more, because it’s advertised, because we have to be told to care. We share a post, we tell people we’re there, and yet… it’s falling on deaf ears. Because even if you show or tell someone you’re there, they’ll only believe it if they want to.
Actions speak louder than words, yet we forget that we are all trying to wade through each day while stuck in our own little world. That sometimes perhaps you need to allow space for people to realise what they have in you. No one in this world understands themselves 100%, and yet we put heavy expectations on those around us to understand every need we have. When we’re in our darkest moments, our brains forgets the feeling of happiness (it’s Science), and you may not know how you will react to the emotions coursing through your body. Whether it’s a gut-wrenching cry, or yelling at someone you love, or simply shutting everyone out. We know this about ourselves, and yet; we don’t afford the benefit of the doubt to those around us. We won’t speak up and yet we expect our loved ones to come to us when they are in the midst of a breakdown.
Why are we making it harder for each other to speak up? We unintentionally shut people out because we feel misunderstood, or we’re afraid to lay ourselves bare. We are creatures of habit, and of comfort. Recoiling at the idea of something new, even if that newness is friendship, contentedness, or love in its many forms. Sometimes it’s easier to stand alone, with no one to lean on and no one leaning on you, because it’s safer. Less variables. Less likelihood of hurt, shame, heartbreak. But that makes the human condition even harder. Throw away your expectations, and be there. For your people, and for yourself. But don’t only talk; listen.