desire, fearless

I have been waking up every day with a desire to live a life that is not my own; dressed in clothes that make me feel – and look – good, meeting new people, and sharing more laughter with those already close to my heart. Going on more adventures that extend the mundane. Exploring more than just the sublunary. Working towards something.

And yet, each day I wake and continue with the monotony. The same two-step slide, yet somehow expecting that to bring about change. I do not alter the current life I live to make way for the one I want. Regressing into the comfort of holding myself back; walking into an invisible barrier only created by the confines of my very own mind.

You can be full of hope and expectation, but you must keep about some of your wits; for the wits will tell you that the expectation without action is nothing more than fatuity. The hope will flake away and leave you only with despair for the life you never gave yourself the chance to live.

In the recognising comes about the knowing that yes, you can change if that is what you truly seek, and it only comes with the resounding efforts of your own. You can – and you don’t have to – but to release the fear, you must walk through it.

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