take the photos

You don’t look the way you used to. You see the extra weight, the wrinkles around your eyes, the trickle of age in your skin. So you take less photos.

You don’t like the way you sound on a recording. You are critical of the inflictions, the nasally sounds, the way you pronounce words. So you don’t take videos.

You shy away from the camera in the pretence that it’s not needed.

I have no way of hearing my mum’s voice anymore. I can’t conjure it. I will get glimpses of her laugh in other peoples, but I will never know it again.

I have the same few photos to go through when I want to see her face. Much less from the ages I knew her best, from the beautiful face of the mum I remember.

I loved every wrinkle, the sound of her voice was home, the echo of her laughter was true joy. She cared how she looked, I just want to see her.

Take the photos, the videos, share the memories. Because one day they will be just that.

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