- You don’t have to be in constant contact with someone to consider them a friend. Time and place means nothing as long as you are there for each other when one reaches out.
- If you’re going out with even the slightest inkling to hook up with someone – take condoms. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. And it does not seem assuming; it seems responsible.
- Is there any part of your actions that makes you wonder if what you are doing is hurting someone else? If so – why the fuck are you doing it?
- Pay. Your. Invoices. Did you get someone else to do work for you/create something for you/use their abilities for you? You owe them for their time, even if you didn’t use what they created for you in the end. You wouldn’t see someone get their hair done, decide they didn’t like it, and walk out without paying. Same goes for any work.
- As per previous blog post – just because you personally could not see yourself having an abortion, does not automatically make you “pro-life”. Allowing other women the choice is the crux here.
- Grief does not have to be masked by strength. Try to reword your condolences to those you know are going through a shit time. Take away and pull apart the idea that you have to be “strong” in hard times; that is what has led to a society afraid of being seen as weak and not speaking up.
- “The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person’s life.” – William Wordsworth. It’s the small acts of kindness – it makes your day & theirs. It’s nice to be kind.
- Commitment is what matters, not motivation. As long as you show up every day, you will make it far. You can’t be on all the time. And even if you’re not making enough money to really live on just yet, trust me, it will come as long as you keep trying.
- Don’t use one source for your news. Find multiple ways and voices to inform your opinions. No matter what, media will be slightly bias – you will be hard pressed to find anywhere that doesn’t lean a certain way. Stop relying on everyone else to tell you how you should be thinking; learn for yourself. I had a friend who listened to one particular speaker about issues the country was facing two years ago, so he thought he was right. But he didn’t listen to anyone else and refused to take in other opinions. This does not a forward country make.
- Mind your business and let everyone else run theirs.
- Do not, and I mean, do not say sorry if you have decided you don’t want to have sex with someone. All you need is the word no. Not, ‘I’m not feeling it anymore, sorry.’ Just, ‘I’m not feeling it anymore.’ BAIIII
- Stop reading the comment sections in Facebook. It will only make you angry and morbidly depressed at the idiocy in the world.
- You are not in a better place in life just because you are in a relationship.
- It’s everyone’s job to care about the environment. It’s not ‘uncool’ or ‘gay’ (which I’ve seen people be called over it; a whole different issue in itself, see point #5) to care or do your part. We, as a collective, are destroying the world as is. Change your thought patterns and change your behaviours.
- Stop using ‘gay’ as an insult or with bad connotations! It’s really not hard to change your habits, say something is uncool or just plain shit.
- A clean vocabulary does not a lady make. It’s 2019 – stop telling me not to swear, bitches.
- You’re not a better person because you don’t like big cities. Some people couldn’t be country folk, they don’t want all that fresh air and ability to hear their thoughts. Respect that; we’re all keeping the world going around. Barely, but still.
- Also, respect everyone’s professional choices. I see, often, people who are business owners talking down about people who do the 9-5, saying who would ever want that? Why would you want to spend your life making money for someone else? Remember that not everyone is in the position, privilege or maybe even passion for building their own business! Your life is not better than theirs if you are constantly comparing how yours is just so much better. They are, I dare say, comfortable and content in their situation. You do you, let them do them.
- Privilege is real. Use yours to try and make a change.
- Vintage/upcycling/recycling is COOL and will be FOREVER. Fast fashion sucks. Chuck it in the bin (The following of the fast fashion, not the actual fast fashion, cause that would just add to the problem – lel). Think about what you’re buying. Think about the ramifications. Use the app @goodonyou_app. Is the brand you love ethical? Could it do better? Could you do better?
1. Alcohol is a depressant. Depression (or recognising it) is entirely more prevalent in our society today. Let’s change the idea that you have to drink it to have fun. I’m not suggesting cutting alcohol, but if you’re relying on it solely to have fun, maybe check yoself. Curate a life you don’t feel the need to black out from.
2. Sex is cool! Unprotected sex with someone whose sexual history you’re not entirely sure of – not so cool! Protect yourself kids, diseases don’t discriminate.
3. Stop commenting on people’s photos if you’re not genuine about it. It’s dumb. It annoys me. Stop it.
4. If you message someone for business purposes, whether DM or email – follow up on it! Even if you decide you don’t want their services!!! Heck!
5. People in long-term relationships, if you could just stop giving dating advice to ya single friends, that would be fab. Thanks.
6. Being an asshole is not something to be proud about. That shit’s boring.
7. Feminism is not a dirty word. It’s actually really cool, and so is education, and so is educating yourself about feminism, and so is wanting equality. So. Read up, kids.
8. Ever stop to think about the fact you’d crave love/a life partner so much if it wasn’t glorified as ridiculously as it is? Stress less dude, love can be found in a myriad of ways, not just in a relationship. Mostly within yourself, which is some rad ass shit. You’re not actually missing out on anything if you’re single for a lil, for a lot or for ya whole dang life.
9. Stop picking at your skin!!! You’re only making it worse!!! (I’m mainly aiming this at myself, but I’m sure some of you can relate. Srs. Treasure that skeleton cover).
10. I don’t need your sceptical bullshit all up in my grill. I believe in the universe, auras, a lil bit of witchcraft. Intentional living, meditation, spirituality. The funny thing is?? I often find the people giving me shit?? Are religious??? You literally believe in fantasy shit too? So, anyway. Call me weird all you want, stop acting as if it effects you in any way, shape or form. Unless I’m poking a voodoo doll of you. Then it’s definitely effecting you.
I am a proclaimed tinder kaweeeen. And, for once, the proclamation was not self-imposed. I have been in a complicated relationship with tinder for about five years now, and I have broken up with it again for probably the 14th time. (And hopefully last).
It all began one fateful day in the wonderful establishment that is Sizzle Cafe @ University of Canberra – with my fav gal pal Gracie. We downloaded it for a laff and I swiped away to boys less than 2km away – see, if I was a normal person with normal people skills, I would have made normal conversation with these males had I seen them on campus. Alas, I am none of the above, thus the magic of tinder.
The plan was to have it for a couple of days. 5 years later…
(Shirts & hats available HERE)
Nah, but I’ve had it on and off for all of that time. And despite people thinking so; no, I do not expect to find the luv of ma lyf, or even a boyfriend, or even a bang. Purely just innit for the bantz.
Heck, we all know I don’t need it, and we all know I’ve gotten luckier in the months without it, than the months with it. But it’s a handy old pal for the colder months, and for the socially awkward.
As a seasoned tinder veteran, I thought I would put my years of experience to good use and help those less fortunate and (if possible) more socially awkward than I.
There are things you should do to attract the honeys – and things you should not:
DO: link to your instagram profile, so we can have a mad stalk, and also find out if you have a child in advance!!!
DON’T: write ‘I will make you cum by my tongue’ or anything along those lines.
DO: post a shirtless photo of u at the beach
DON’T: expect a shirtless photo in return
DO: have photos of you with a dog. guaranteed return of investment ie. higher percentage of girls will swipe right (science)
DON’T: only have one photo………like how am I supposed to think ur real
DO: write a witty bio, preferably with puns.
DON’T: insult women in your bio?????????
DO: use tinder to meet fun, new people
DON’T: expect to get sex
DO/DON’T: use to find the love of your life. personally I wouldn’t use it to find ma soulmate because…..well, it’s tinder, BUT I know of many successful love stories so you do you sistas and bruthas.
Tinder, for as long as it shall live, will have pros and cons, haters and lovers. There will always be those who preach ‘superficiality’; though how is this different to approaching someone in the bar? Life is a series of judging on appearances.
Really you don’t have to follow anything I say because I am not the be all and end all of love, life and tinder (shock horror).
Until next time, fans, friends, foes and fuckwits,
Your gal. Rack daddy
(ex-tinder queen) (who actually sucked at tinder)
Srs, buy ya tinder merch from my store
1. Stop running scared from the rain. Life happens as you’re ducking for cover and keeping your head down, eyes averted from the magic of Mother Nature.
2. Think about and consider your own actions before you so easily criticise others.
3. We’ve come so far in terms of mental health awareness but we still have a really long way to go. Stop sugar coating. Honestly, if you’re not okay, say you’re not okay. When someone asks how a friend is going, and you go on about how fabulous they are and how fabulous their life is when in reality you know they have been struggling through every day, it’s pushing us further way from accepting that people need help. And that’s really fucking okay. Rather than “oh, yeah they’re so good,” maybe say, “they’re trying, and I know they’ll be good soon.”
4. Hurting others because you’ve been hurt makes absolutely no fucking sense and you should hand in your license to be human now.
5. You can’t expect to be on, 24/7. You will have relapses. Everything will be good and all of a sudden, you’re under the earth with no light shining through and you can’t see yourself getting better again. This could last for a day, maybe a week. Possibly months. But things will get better. They always do. You just have to trust me on this.
6. Play with her nipples not her feelings.
7. Here is a list of things that help me get out of depresso pits:
- Really fucking loud, uplifting music — sing along to it so loud you can’t think straight, nor hear your sibling/housemate knock on your door thus having them walk in on you dancing in the nude.
- Green Tea. (I know, ew, shut up Racquel). T2 has this lovely blend called Gorgeous Geisha and it tastes and smells like you’re drinking flowers.
- On that note, diet plays a huge part. I’m not saying eating a fuckload of spinach will cure your mind (though I wish it were that simple), but ensuring you’re eating healthy makes a positive difference on your mental and physical health. (But don’t deny yourself that piece of cake).
I ate like pure shit on holiday, and came back and found myself deeper in a sadness than I had been before it. There were obviously many contributing factors but I do believe that, since I’ve been eating a lot better and my happiness is through the roof, the fuckload of spinach has been helping.
- Exercise…………..sorry. I’m being this guy. But even something as simple as going for a walk around the lake or a bit of yoga gets the good juices flowing.
- BOOKS. SO MANY FUCKING BOOKS. I set a goal of reading 50 books in 2018 and I think I may have to up it…as I am already on book number 18 in the second week of Feb…nerd. BUT immersing yourself in a completely different world shifts perspectives and also helps you get out of yours for a little while.
- Throw whatever is in your reach as long as it is not fragile/will not do damage to anything around you. I almost set my room on fire as I threw my shoe and it rebounded off my wardrobe, onto my heater, flicked the switch without me realising, and began heating up my dressing gown that was resting atop the heater. Now I stick to lighter shoes or pillows.
8. Light exercise is much better for times you are emotionally on edge. I’ve done a bit of research into it, as I was finding myself constantly walking away from the gym feeling more fragile than when I went. I’d get in the car, sore and tired, and the waterworks would begin almost as soon as I was on the drive home. THIS IS because I was pushing myself too hard, trying to outrun the thoughts in my mind. Vigorous exercise can actually push your serotonin levels even more out of whack if they already are a little whack, rather than evening them out; so light exercise, like a brisk walk around the lake (or on the treadmill while watching the latest episode of Riverdale), and yoga are the go-tos.
9. I matched with a dude on tinder (yes tinder has yet again been downloaded, yolo, idgaf) and his bio said “Someone once told me that if I’m ever sad I just need to realise that I’m one day closer to eating my next plate of nachos and that’s really helped me through some tough times,” and I think it’s a philosophy we all need to adopt.
10. You are alive, and sometimes that is enough to be thankful for.
1. Stop comparing yourself to strangers on Instagram.
2. November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month – the cancer with the lowest 5 year survival rate. I’m making mugs to raise funds and you can get them here: http://rackers.bigcartel.com/product/pancare-mugs/ but more importantly, educate yourself, donate separately if you wish, and tell your humans you love them.
3. Just because someone is on a different life path to you, doesn’t mean they’re doing life wrong compared to you. That’s the funny little thing about life; no one knows what the fuck they’re doing but it doesn’t matter as long as they’re happy doing it.
4. Stop thinking someone is feeling how you think they should be feeling.
5. Ctrl alt delete those people who are not adding value to yo life.
6. “We all fear that our feelings are too big, especially in the moment we’re actually having them. We were taught not be too loving, we’d get hurt; too smart, we’d get bullied; too fearful, we’d be vulnerable. To be compliant with what other people wanted us to feel.
… The point is that you aren’t the one who is afraid of feeling too much. It’s the one who called you crazy and dramatic and wrong.” Brianna Wiest, 101 essays that will change the way you think
7. “How do you go from living in a different city, working 6 days a week, to literally never leaving your house?” I dunno man how do you go from loving someone and wanting to spend forever with them, to not even knowing them at all? People change, priorities change, life happens and the way you live it concerns no one but yourself.
8. Anyone who has skin issues like myself, listen here!!! I got the secret!!! I tried so many things, like every skin care secret under the roof. (Even that special one those who have no skin issues always fucking tell you: wash it day and night. Amazing.) Cetaphil, Clearasil, fucking that one that always used to be on ads but I can’t remember it’s name anymore, Aesop. I currently just use miscellar water and a Garnier moisturiser. A month ago, I decided to take the leap and cut dairy completely out of my diet (and despite the occasional pizza hiccup), I have succeeded — my skin is clearer than it has been in yeeeaaarrrssss! It’s actual magic. My skin’s not perfect and I’m not sure it ever will be; I have scarring and still get little bumps and whatnot, but I actually feel confident enough to go in public without makeup and that is a big deal for me! So if you have skin troubles!!! Give it a try! And if you’re sad about what to add in your cereal, tea or coffee — Bonsoy is an actual dream in terms of health benefits and taste.
4th August 2017 — 9th November 2017
10. Think of all the humans in the universe. Cut it down heaps and heaps and you’ve still got a shitload of humans as options. Date someone other than your friends’ ex.
1. Pettiness is a surefire way to find yourself friendless in no time. Stop sweating the small stuff.
2. Telling someone their career goals are ‘unrealistic’ is small-minded and sad for you. Someone has to write the best sellers, produce the music and direct the box office hits. If anything, your negativity just adds fuel to the fire.
3. One of the hardest things I try to wrap my head around is petty people who have a problem with someone, talk to everyone but the person they have a problem with and expect it to get better. Grow a pair and confront your issues instead of feeding your own shitty habits.
4. Life is boring when you don’t have an online order to look forward to…
5. “What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud?
Just smile sweetly and suggest — as politely as you possibly can — that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
6. A hairstyle. Cannot have. A fucking sexuality. When I’m told that my current haircut is “lesbian”, my eyes roll so hard I can see my most buried memories. My hair was not cut for you.
8. Nah but legiterally, think about it. We live a certain time away from each other. I manage to make it to your house with no complaints, ever. I ask you to come to me. “Oh, but you live so far.” ???????? I travel the EXACT SAME DISTANCE to get to you. Don’t be a shit mate.
9. There are start times at events for a reason. Don’t be a shit mate x 2.
10. And when it’s all said and done, what we’re left with is this single moment. The “present.” Right now.
Do with it what you may; waste it, watch Netflix, eat shit, drink multitudes of tea/coffee/beer. Do me a favour and close your eyes for a moment. Realise that, truly and honestly, you cannot seize every single moment and use it to your fullest potential; it’s physically impossible. But if you, right now, can look at your ugly reflection, with your double chin and jumper that desperately needs a wash (no? just me? ok), in your computer screen after binging on your current fave Netflick, and say: “This is making me happy,” then do as you please. This life is yours, after all. No one can dictate what is yours.
1. Drunk whispering is not the same as sober whispering. Watch what you say.
2. Stop finding confidence such a threat.
3. Criticising someone for doing something you don’t like (but they love) literally does nothing but make you a shitty person.
4. “You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is not denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how you love. There is courage in that.” — Bianca Sparacino
5. “Boys will be boys” and “girls will be girls” are the shittest excuses for anything ever.
6. I recently invested in 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Weist, and she speaks of “shadow selves” in Chapter 1 — “…the parts of you that at some point you were conditioned to believe were ‘not okay,’ so you suppressed them and have done everything in your power not to acknowledge them. You don’t actually dislike these parts of yourself, though. So when you see somebody else displaying one of these traits, it’s infuriating, not because you inherently dislike it, but because you have to fight your desire to fully integrate it into your whole consciousness.”
This reiterates my point of finding confidence such a threat in a different way — I find the reason people often ‘don’t like’ me off the bat, or the things ‘friends’ poke fun at the most, are my innate confidence in myself and self-love (see insta for bulk selfies) (some would say narcissism — I would say a product of this generation) and my ability to go full force at something I believe will make me happy. In the end, it’s only sad for them, because they harbour these feelings of unease and direct them at me, when it’s only an issue within themselves.
7. “Emotionally intelligent people allow themselves ‘bad’ days. They let themselves be fully human. It’s in this non-resistance that they find the most peace of all.” — Brianna Weist, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think.
8. There are only so many people you can blame for your feelings until you realise that the blame needs to fall on yourself.
10. Don’t exaggerate someone else’s feelings because that’s how you think they should be feeling. (!!!!!)
1. Don’t let the h8rz stop u from doin ur thang. – Kevin Gnapoor (the g’s silent when he sneaks through your door…and makes love to your woman on the bathroom floor…)
2. Forget the mistake (we all make them), but remember the lesson yo.
3. Feel good flick of the week: She’s the Man. (even dad had a laugh)
4. Make a playlist of your favourite songs. And go for a drive. And go to a lookout. And then play them. — Yvette, on what life tip works best for her.
5. There’s always gonna be another mountain……..you’re always gonna wanna make it moooove….
6. Don’t stop until you’re proud. And then keep the fuck going.
7. “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” – Winston Churchill
8. Had a shower with a male for the first time today. Can understand what people talk about when it gets cold standing out of the water. Had to clean myself as quick as possible.
Male was a spider. 🕷 And I was only standing away from the water to avoid it. Still counts, right?
Point is, just a friendly reminder to check your surroundings before you hop into the shower because you can, and will, pull a muscle in your body that you didn’t know you had as you jump away from the hairy lil fucker.
9. When life gives you lemons…freeze them and throw them as hard as possible at the people who are making your life difficult.
10. *shameless self promo*
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1. Pining after someone does this weird thing to your grief. It’s like, you know you should be grieving someone, or you know you should be past grieving someone. But you also know that grieving should be separate, a more personal thing. Your sadness over the person you’ve lost is intensified by the sadness over the person you want, and vice versa. Don’t feel bad if you feel more than you “should” about something or someone. Chances are you had those feelings already, hiding in your heart, waiting for a home.
2. Some days are going to be better than others. Some days, the hardest thing you’ll face is pulling yourself out of bed. Life sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again.
3. There comes a point in life when enough’s enough. If you’re haggling for money that you don’t even need, enough’s enough.
4. I hope you never make a home out of something that makes you weak.
6. Don’t dream it, be it. (Rocky Horror Picture Show).
7. You’ll always heal from heartbreak. You may heal a little funny, you could end up a bit bent out of shape compared to how you started out. But walking out of this life with a limp, or even a full body cast, shows you gave it your all. It’s better to be a bit broken but come out stronger on the other side.
8. Feel good movie of the week: Stick It.
9. If you ever feel discouraged of the world, look into a puppers eyes.
10. “So, I’ve been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that will fix everything. But happiness is a mood, it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often.” — Julian Baker, One Tree Hill.